Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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