Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
