I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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