I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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