Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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