I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
