Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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