Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
