If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
