Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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