I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
