every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
