thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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