I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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