he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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