Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
