Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
