Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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