You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
