He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
