Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
