these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
