So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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