Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
