dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
