She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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