Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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