matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
