dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
