How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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