he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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