She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
