Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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