After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
