He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Even my vagina gasped.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I think I sprained my soul last night
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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