Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I looked at my own cervix.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
