So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
