i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
