I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
