This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
