i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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