At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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