There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
