Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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