Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She bit a glass in half.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
