i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
