id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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