i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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