Non-Jews are for practice
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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