BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
