i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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