I think im going to throw up on grandma
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
