dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize