I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
