It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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