You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
