i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
