i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
